The Roof Cleaning Institute Of America Training & Certification Forum
"Find A Certified Roof Cleaner Directory"

Here's a good link to add to this fun thread. The video is pretty amazing.

http://www.wimp.com/peopleawesome/

New York City Report Cards

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)


1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.


2. I would not allow this student to breed.


3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.


4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.


5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to ac
hieve them.

6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together .


7. This child has been working with glue too much.


8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.


9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.


10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.


11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.


12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

growing up in Denver this rang so true. I laughed so hard I was crying by the end. Northern guys will relate. You Florida peeps, Forgetaboutit.


The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our ****tails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!

December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecasted. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last ni ght. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white Chit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the Azzhole is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25
Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in- The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff
her into the microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Three contractors-one from Florida, one from New York, and one from Alabama happened to schedual a tour of the White House on the same day. At the end of the tour the guide wasent real busy so he was chatting with the guys about what they did for a living. After the guard found out they were all contractors he was like "Hey yall, we have a fence out back that needs fixing! Why dont you guys come along and give us a estimate?" They all went out back and the Floridian got out a tape and started mesureing and doing some calculating. After a couple of minuits he said " Its gonna cost $900. $$400 for supplies, $400 for labor and $100 for profit." The guy from Alabama got out his tape and did some measureing and figureing and after a little he said " I think I can do it for $700. $300 for supplies $300 for labor and $100 profit." So the guide looked at the New York guy and asked " Whats your bid?" Without batting a eye the guy replied"$2700" The guide was shocked! "How do you figure " he asked in amazment? "Its easy" the guy replied" $1000 for me, $1000 for you and we hire the guy from Alabama!"

Ugly Shingles wrote:

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I just added Android EDWIN to my phone and I thought I should pass it on to all of you. It is quite amazing and it is free.

Check it out ...

 

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Ask that Mother****er how to make every RCIA Member happy

 

Ugly Shingles wrote:

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Apple Roof Cleaning Tampa FL (813) 655-8777 wrote:

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Ugly Shingles wrote:

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I just added Android EDWIN to my phone and I thought I should pass it on to all of you. It is quite amazing and it is free.

Check it out ...

 

---

Ask that Mother****er how to make every RCIA Member happy

 

 

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I did....he laughed...

 

 

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LOL, we are NEVER gonna please eyerybody Bob. Really, as long as there is good roof cleaning information and Great SEO to be had here, who really cares anyway ?
As long as people can learn to make a living here, and get work from this forums high SEO, and maybe make a friend or 2, they aint going anywhere. Hey, know who I really miss Bob ? Remember the Kangaroo with the Beer Bottle, Martin from Australia I think was his name ? Remember him ?

 

OK, here is an APP that allows u to accept Credit Cards from your smart phones

Apple Roof Cleaning Tampa FL (813) 655-8777 wrote:

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OK, here is an APP that allows u to accept Credit Cards from your smart phones

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           A+ FIND! Thanks Brother!